I was...
A Flash Designer, Prepress Technician, TV Director, Married, Technical Writer (I wrote the manuals no one reads), Producer of a Nationally Syndicated Liberal Talk Show, Textbook Writer, Substitute Professor at a Technical College, Popeye's Mascot, Cook, Oyster Shucker, Bartender, Waiter, Very Bad Waiter, Music Store Lackey in Germany, The Plant in "Little Shop of Horrors," Dismissed by Terry Gilliam, Younger, Thinner, and Stupider